What to Serve That Annoying Relative This Holiday Season
The holidays are a time for joy, togetherness—and tolerating your family’s quirks for an entire evening. Whether it’s your aunt’s unsolicited advice, your sibling’s bragging, or your cousin’s questionable life choices, there’s a cocktail for every annoying relative. This lighthearted guide pairs holiday drink recipes with classic family archetypes to help you survive the season with your sense of humor intact.
And hey, if this sounds overwhelming, consider hiring one of our Art of the Cocktail mixologists to keep the drinks flowing and the peace intact.
1. The Judgmental Mother-in-Law
Archetype: She’s the queen of the passive-aggressive comment. "Oh, you’re still making your green bean casserole? It’s so cute that you’re sticking to your traditions.”
Drink: The Bitter Old Fashioned
Because let’s face it—sometimes a drink that matches the vibe is the only way forward.
Recipe:
2 oz bourbon
1 sugar cube
3 dashes Angostura bitters
Orange peel
Muddle the sugar cube and bitters in a rocks glass. Add ice, pour bourbon over, and garnish with an orange peel. Hand it over with a smile and maybe add, “Just like grandma used to make.”
2. The Overachieving Sibling
Archetype: They’ve just returned from running their third marathon, learned Italian in three weeks, and somehow turned their side hustle into a six-figure empire.
Drink: The Perfect Martini
Because their life is “perfect,” so their drink should be too. Bonus points for how labor-intensive it looks—because clearly, you tried.
Recipe:
2 oz gin
1 oz dry vermouth
Lemon twist or olive for garnish
Stir the gin and vermouth with ice until well-chilled. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with either a lemon twist or olive, depending on their mood (it’s always “driven”).
3. The Oversharing Aunt
Archetype: She’s had “just one glass” of wine and is now telling you way too much about her online dating adventures.
Drink: The Too Much Sangria
Sangria because it’s fruity and fun—just like Aunt Linda. But make it a big batch, because this conversation is going to be long.
Recipe:
1 bottle red wine
1/4 cup brandy
1/4 cup orange liqueur
1/4 cup orange juice
Sliced oranges, lemons, and berries
Sparkling water to top
Combine everything but the sparkling water in a pitcher. Let it chill for a few hours, then top with sparkling water before serving. Encourage her to have one more glass—you’ll want her to forget she mentioned “that one time in Cabo.”
4. The Social Media Obsessed Cousin
Archetype: They’re taking photos of their food, their outfit, and the family dog. And now they’re asking if you can “boomerang” their drink pour.
Drink: The Instagram Spritz
It’s photogenic, colorful, and perfect for clinking glasses in slow motion.
Recipe:
2 oz Aperol
3 oz prosecco
1 oz soda water
Orange slice for garnish
Fill a wine glass with ice, add Aperol, and top with prosecco and soda water. Garnish with an orange slice. Bonus points for placing it next to fairy lights or a festive centerpiece before handing it over.
5. The Grumpy Dad
Archetype: He’s muttering about traffic, the cost of groceries, and how nobody else knows how to carve the turkey.
Drink: The Old Reliable Whiskey Sour
Dad doesn’t want fancy; he wants classic. And he wants it fast.
Recipe:
2 oz whiskey
1 oz fresh lemon juice
1/2 oz simple syrup
Ice
Cherry for garnish
Shake the whiskey, lemon juice, and simple syrup with ice. Strain into a rocks glass over fresh ice. Garnish with a cherry. It’s simple, straightforward, and likely to improve his mood—until someone asks him to pose for a family photo.
6. The Always-Late Spouse
Archetype: They rolled in 30 minutes late, claimed they were “stuck in traffic,” and are now frantically trying to catch up with everyone else’s holiday cheer.
Drink: The Espresso Martini
Because they’re going to need caffeine to survive the evening (and you’re going to need patience).
Recipe:
2 oz vodka
1 oz espresso (or strong coffee)
1/2 oz coffee liqueur
1/4 oz simple syrup
Shake all ingredients with ice and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with coffee beans. It’s a pick-me-up in a glass, perfect for powering through dinner and small talk.
7. The Frenemy Friend
Archetype: You invited them because they’re technically part of the group, but now they’re subtly competing with you on everything from holiday decor to who found the best gifts.
Drink: The Subtle Sting Margarita
Sweet, sour, and just a little salty—sound familiar?
Recipe:
2 oz tequila
1 oz fresh lime juice
1/2 oz triple sec
1/4 oz agave syrup
Salt for the rim
Shake all ingredients with ice and strain into a salt-rimmed rocks glass. Garnish with a lime wedge. Serve it with a grin and say, “You’re going to love this—it’s such a classic.”
Ease the Holiday Chaos with Art of the Cocktail
Feeling overwhelmed by all these personalities? Let Art of the Cocktail bring some joy to the chaos. Our professional mixologists will handle the bar, creating personalized drinks that keep everyone happy—or at least distracted. From signature holiday cocktails to crowd-pleasing classics, we’ll ensure your family gathering is memorable for all the right reasons.
